friday’s confession: I’m nervous.

friday's confession: I'm nervous. via Tiffany Han

You’ve been hearing me talk about my upcoming 100 Rejection Letters program (<– click to sign up for the early notice list). I’ve been showing bits and pieces of my work on Instagram. I have poured all of my available energy into creating something that (I think!) is going to be remarkable – both for me and for the people participating in the program.

Man, that is a scary place to be.

It is a place that is filled with doubts, with the what if it doesn’t works, with the Oh, man. I’ve never done anything like this before and I have no idea what will happens.

It’s also an exciting place to be. It’s a place filled with possibility, with I don’t exactly know how to do this, but I’m going to take a breath and go for it anyway. With I could be on to something big – both for myself and my clients – and I have to do this work but holycrap whatifwhatifwhatif. 

And if I let them, the what ifs would overtake everything, and I’d just put the project away.

I’d let myself get overwhelmed with everything and never get it off the ground.

I’d do what I’ve done before and just talk about how great it would be. I’d plan and dream and research. But I’d never pull the trigger.

So, deep breath (I need to write another post about the importance of breathing!): Starting October 15, I’m re-committing to getting 100 rejection letters in a year. I owe it to my business to find out what would happen if I tried my absolute hardest to make my work amazing. I owe it to myself to find out what I am capable of. I owe it to my daughters to prove to them that goals are worth going all in for.

And I owe it to you – sweet reader – whom I talk to all the time about taking chances, making out with yes, and hitting go – I owe you proof that it’s possible, that it can be done.

This is my chance to walk the walk.

And who am I to do this work if I can’t walk my walk?

Also, hi nerves. They’re here  too. But that’s okay. It’s how I know I’m on to something big.

So I’m here, head down, doing the work. I may not show this on social media and in my writing, but there are so many times when I doubt myself, when I wonder what the hell I’m doing. When I want to just give up and be a stay at home mom or go get a desk job or just not have to try so hard.

And then I take a deep breath and remember what this is all for, and what I want for myself and my clients. And I realize what an opportunity this is to make a commitment and try something, something uncertain, and to declare that I’m going to figure it out as I go.

And I want you to know that if you feel the nerves or the fear or the doubt, that’s okay. It’s normal, and a sign that you’re on to something big.

You get to choose whether or not the fear stops you.

You get to choose to take a deep breath and take the next step anyway.

You get to choose to not listen to those voices anymore.

It’s up to you. I think you know what choice I’m making.

PS. There will be more news SOON about what I’ve got up my sleeve for the Rejection program.

**graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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thought of the day.

You don't have time for assholes. via Tiffany Han

**graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

rejection letters teaser

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I had no idea.

I had no idea. via Tiffany Han

I had no idea. 

It’s what we say now when we get the news that something scary, or tragic, or sad has happened to someone we know.

I had no idea…

…that your family was involved in a car accident.
…that your high school friend recently committed suicide.
…that your mother just lost her battle with cancer.
…that your husband will most likely be out of a job by summer’s end.

Everything is public and available for consumption. We share so much of our lives online that it’s easy to forget that we most likely aren’t getting the whole story.

We are never getting the whole story. 

And so it’s time to stop thinking that we are. It’s time to stop expecting to be informed.

One reason people have a hard time cutting back on social media is that they “don’t want to miss anything.” Why not?

What’s wrong with missing something?

What’s wrong with not being intimately involved with every single detail of over a hundred people’s lives?

What’s wrong with cutting back and getting reacquainted with your own life instead?

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friday’s confession: I’m figuring it out.

Friday's Confession :: I'm figuring it out. | via Tiffany Han

People ask me all the time, “How are you managing the babies and your business?”

My short answer: I have no idea, but I am.

The long answer: Human beings have been figuring it out for centuries.

You don’t know what you can handle until you are faced with it.
Dive into the deep end, and you’ll learn to swim.
You can take on the world. If you let yourself.

I’m now 2 months back in after maternity leave. I have less than half the available hours in a week than I used to.

I have more ideas than I know what to do with and am about to embark on a commitment to get 100 Rejection Letters over the course of 12 months. (And you’ll be able to join me! Be the first to know by signing up here!)

And I’m back at trying to kick ass at this entrepreneur-empowerment-start-a- revolution thing.

Right. It’s a lot. Exhale.

So when people ask me how I’m handling it, I answer by saying, “I’m not sure.”

And that’s the truth.

I’m not sure how I’m handling it all, but I am.
I don’t know how I manage to get everything done in a day,  but I do.
I can’t tell you how I’ve been able to keep up with it all, but I have. 

And so would you if you were tossed into the deep end of the very same situation. 

People ask how we are doing so well with two babies at home, and I say, “it’s all we know.”

As human beings, we are conditioned to rise up to meet our circumstances head-on. We are skilled at figuring things out in the moment, at not backing down once we’ve stepped into battle.

And yet, we all spend so much time preparing, figuring out how, making plans and researching and trying to play out all the what ifs in our heads.

But the what ifs never come.

The reality of every situation is that it is different from how you will imagine it. So why not stop imagining and just start?

Want to start a business selling your hand-knit baby booties? Open up your etsy shop. Today.
Want to become an amazing dancer? Find yourself a class. And go tonight.
Want to lose those 5 pounds? Take a walk. Right now. And then take another one after dinner. Tonight.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the perfect photographs or the right shoes or one hundred other things that take precedence.

If you make a commitment to something, you will figure out a way to make it happen. Click to tweet

Preparation and research don’t have anything to do with your commitment. The commitment is a choice that you make. To raise your hand and say yes. To figure it out as you go. To do the work that is necessary to make magic happen.

I used to be a person who prioritized everything in the world as the! most! important! thing!

Now, I have two most importants: my family and my business. Everything else takes a backseat.

Would I like to see my friends more often? Sure.
Would I like to have time to take a pilates class a couple of times each week? Absolutely.
Would I like to do my hair and put on eyeliner each morning? That would be great. 

But right now, it would all be too much. I keep myself sane by prioritizing my family and my business above all else. I am saying no to other things, other opportunities, other really! good! ideas! so that I can say yes to Tim and our girls, and making my business everything it can be.

And while it seemed hard when I was trying to figure out the how before the girls were born, when I stepped into my new life, it was easy. Things fell into place.

All of a sudden, it all made sense. 

So if there’s something you’re waiting for and hoping for and trying to figure out, give yourself some credit: You’ve made it this far, you brilliant creature. You’ve got this.

Just start doing. You’ll be fine. There will be bumps, but man, the world is ready for you.

Make that choice, that commitment: find your yes and go. (And then don’t be surprised when it’s all so much easier than you ever could have imagined.)

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*graphics by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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what freedom is (and isn’t)

what freedom is (and isn't) // tiffany han

There are so many of us in this world who are seeking freedom:

I want to quit my day job!

I want to be location-independent!

I want to make 6 figures, speak at conferences, and travel the world!

We all want freedom; so-called freedom that looks like this:

You’re sitting on a beach, sipping piña coladas, laughing with your honey and reveling in how you have nothing to do but count the waves lapping up on the shore. The only piece of technology you have is your iPhone, which you use to play Jimmy Buffett on Pandora and post photos on Instagram of your perfect freedom. 

There isn’t an email in sight. There is no mention of twitter followers or newsletter subscribers or monthly pageviews or SEO.

Or maybe freedom looks like this:

You spend your days in an art studio, getting your hands dirty, paint covering your fingertips and your Anthropologie apron and the tops of your hot pink Converse sneakers. 

There is no shipping box in sight. There is no mountain of email to climb every night after your family goes to bed. There aren’t the “but I never have any time to just create” laments to your friends. Laments that I have heard from every single professional artist I’ve ever met.

Y’all. We’ve got the look of freedom all wrong.

When we think about how we want our lives to look, we aren’t picturing what freedom is, we’re picturing a fucking vacation. 

Here’s what freedom really looks like:

Freedom is finally being able to say to the guy “I’m better off alone than with someone who treats me like this” even though you cry yourself to sleep at night and feel lonelier than you’ve ever been in your life.

Freedom is committing to staying in the job, in that fucking job, because you know you need to pay off your debt before you venture out on your own and likely incur more.

Freedom is saying no to dinners out, and fancy shoes, and the IMAX experience so that you can actually pay off said debt and move on with your life already.

Freedom is having the balls to finally quit the job and saying “I’ll sell my car if I have to” because your will to succeed is that strong.

Freedom is taking the part-time job when you need to because desperation doesn’t look good on anyone.

Freedom is choosing to use your credit cards to bankroll your business in the starting months when you only make $125 total because you will do everything you can to see this through.

Freedom is climbing that mountain of email when everyone goes to sleep because that means that you got to eat both breakfast and dinner together as a family.

Freedom is pulling in an annual gross salary of $39,000 in your third year of business for yourself and feeling like a fucking champion because that number – as paltry as it seems to everyone else – represents a 300% increase over last year’s income and is a sign that you. are. finally. doing. this.

Freedom is making commitments and setting priorities and recognizing that you aren’t looking for the easy way out, but for what matters.

Freedom is getting to decide that for yourself.

Freedom is raising your hand and saying yes. Even if you aren’t 100% confident. Even if you don’t feel 100% ready. (Click to tweet)

So, do you want freedom or just need a vacation?

do you really want your own business or do you just need a vacation? // tiffany han

If it’s a vacation, great! Prepare for your life to be a whole lot easier. (Seriously: tell your boss you’re going, but the damn ticket already, and get to the beach yo!)

But if it’s true freedom you’re after, how hard are you willing to work to get it?

And what difficult choices are you willing to make?

I promise it won’t be painting-all-day-in-my-converse or piña-colada-on-the-beach easy but it will be so freaking worth it when you realize that you made it all happen for yourself.

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**graphics by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching 

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thought of the day.

Make your own list. -Tiffany Han

Don’t forget: As an adult, you get to make your own checklist. YOU get to decide what makes you happy.

You get to do whatever you want. Even if someone else disagrees.

(I’d recommend starting today.)

*graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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the moments that matter.

the moments that matter via tiffany han

The girls have started to smile. They grin and laugh and flirt with whatever they can – me, a friend, the ceiling fan or a painting on the wall. It is the best thing in the world.

The other day, I did a little dance for them, accompanied by a made up song (I believe it was “Ode to Coffee”) and they both broke out into the world’s sweetest smiles.

I melted. Into a puddle.

And then I realized: it’s these moments that make it all worth it.

In life and in business (especially in business) we spend all of our time focused on the things – the subscribers, the facebook likes and shares, the emails and the yes’s and no’s. It’s so easy to forget about the moments that matter – the moments that make all of it so worth it.

These are the moments that have nothing to do with social media. Or the internet. Or public perception.

The moments like when my girls smile.

Or when I hear the pop of a champagne cork and know that we have something big to celebrate.

Or the moment when Tim nuzzles his face in my hair and says, “I love you” in response to something sweet or funny or loving that I’ve said.

The first sip of coffee after a looong night.

The first page of a really good book.

The last page of a really good book.

That moment of shared eye contact with a stranger at IKEA because Can you believe that woman in the returns line said that?

Yes, we all want to focus on the BIG and the DREAMY and the OMGAWESOME, but without the moments that matter, the rest of it means nothing. (click to tweet)

Sure, it’s much easier to look at all of the things that need to change in your life. And the people who are wrong. And then if onlys and the buts.

And then the whole point is missed.

By recognizing what your most importants are, you can start crafting your life from the inside out. Starting with you. And then moving into the rest of your world.

These are my moments that matter.

What are yours?

**photos by me; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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I’ve been wanting to tell you…

I've been wanting to tell you that you are not alone.

I’ve been wanting to tell that you aren’t alone in this world.

I know it feels like you are.

I know it seems like there’s no one who understands you, or hears you, or gets what it’s like to be you.

And I know that you have big things you want to do with your life, but man, wouldn’t it be so much easier with some freaking support?

I’ve been wanting to tell you that it’s not you vs. the world.

That there are so many of us cheering for you.

That you are not alone. 

There are so many of us cheering for you. :: Tiffany Han

The stands are filled with people who cannot wait to hear you sing. 

Because we know that when you take your place on stage, it will be the most beautiful song the world has ever heard.

Even if you can’t hear us yet.

I’ve been wanting to tell you that fear is a liar. That little voice that tells you that you’re alone, and that you can’t do it, and that you aren’t good enough – that jackass in your head has no idea what he’s talking about.

I’ve been wanting to tell you that you aren’t alone.

That you can do it.

That – beyond being good enough – you are great beyond measure. You are brimming with amazing, and your cup overflows with the gifts you have to share.

There is no enough in the world where you exist. There is no simply adequate.

Your goodness is lavish. And ample. And bounteous.

I’ve been wanting to tell you that you have so got this. That the things you dream about doing can be done. That once you step onto that stage, you’ll sing. And it will be extraordinary.

And I’ve been wanting to tell you that it’s time to take that first step. The scary one. The most uncertain one. (tweet it)

Trust that we’re all waiting with bated breath…

Oh my, how you’re gonna shine.

PS. I’m starting back with Shine Sessions in July and have room for 3 new clients. Are you one of them? (This will be the last chance to work with me 1-on-1 before January 2015. Let’s make magic happen!)

**graphics by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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my so-called highly creative life: Jennifer Lee (plus a giveaway!!)

Jenn Lee My so-called highly creative life

Ahh! I’m so excited to introduce the first installment oh my new interview series My So-Called Highly Creative Life. You guys know my friend (and creative business hero!) Jenn Lee, right? The founder of The Right-Brain Business Plan, Jenn has a new book: Building Your Business the Right-Brain Way: Sustainable Success for the Creative Entrepreneur. It’s good. And I’m featured in it, which means that Jenn is brilliant, eh? *wink* 

I got to chat Jenn up about her creative process and get the insider scoop on how she gets so much done, stays inspired, and kicks so much ass in her biz.  And be sure to check out the giveaway at the end of the post for your chance to win a copy of her new book

Jenn, When do you feel most creative in your day-to-day?

I feel most creative when I have white space, so I aim to build that into my day-to-day. Like time in the morning to journal. Or having lunch outside. Space to think, reflect, dream. Often times I’ll have light-bulb moments when I’m out walking my dog. Or I feel very inspired when I’m working in my “backyard office.” There’s something about being in the fresh air that gets my muse going.

However, I will say there are occasionally times I become utterly possessed by the muse when I have a lot on my plate and my mind is just churning out one idea after another. This can happen when I’m right in the middle of leading an event or developing new material. Like during the weeks leading up to and during the video summit, my muse goes on overdrive because there are so many a-ahs and connection points.

When I’m in that state of creative overflow, ideas come out in big spurts and sometimes it means I stay up late getting those ideas down on paper.

How do you handle the boring, un-fun, non-creative parts of your business?

I either find a way to make it fun or shift my perspective. Like using sticky notes on my wall calendar to plan out launches and milestones. Color coding my spreadsheets and adding pictures. For things like dealing with my attorney for contracts and stuff like that, I know I just need to suck it up and take care of it because it’s in service of getting my message and work out there in a bigger way.

Accountability is key, so I send the message and set up the meeting! Then I lean into my support circles to decompress – like debriefing with my coach, or going for a hike with a friend.

OR I delegate! For example, I have a bookkeeper who reconciles my books for me and handles payroll and sales tax. I recently hired a business manager who is helping me more with the operations and logistics of my business.

If it drives me nuts, I’m not good at it, or my time can be better spent doing something more growth-focused, I need to find someone else to help me.

Do you have any secrets to balancing the fun, creative work with the “gotta get it done” stuff no one likes to do?

One thing that helps me balance is following my creative rhythm. I make sure that I have time blocked out for the fun, creative stuff – I usually like big blocks of uninterrupted time for that (and I have my self-care Fridays). I like to do my outward facing work (like coaching calls, teaching sessions, interviews, etc.) on Mondays and Wednesdays. On those days I’ll also block out time for more of the admin stuff in between the appointments because it’s easier to fill in those gaps with more admin type tasks. Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I typically focus my energy more inward for things like content creation, planning, visioning, and more of the fun stuff.

And like I mentioned above, I do my best to delegate the things that I don’t enjoy doing so I can focus on the things that I do like doing!

Describe the most fun day you’ve ever had “at work.”

The most fun I have is usually when I’m leading an event like the Video Summit or workshop (like with Creative Live), or when I’m teaching a video class with my Mentorship folks and coaching them online or on the phone. It’s fun to take people through experiential learning exercises and help them discover new ways of looking at their life or business. And it’s totally amazing to see when people have a breakthrough. In fact, in 2006 I co-lead a leadership retreat that was so inspiring that I realized it was work that didn’t feel like work! That’s when I knew I had to quit my corporate job.

I also love days when I just get to be by myself. When I can be in creation mode and absorbed in my creative flow plus make time for lots of self-care. Those are days when I feel super productive and pampered. I need a mix of both of the outward and inward “fun” days.

What would people be surprised to learn about you (and your biz!)?

Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I’m a HUGE introvert especially if their only experience of me is of seeing me lead or teach. I have a bit of this love/hate relationship with being in the spotlight. The introvert and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) parts of me get really drained by being in front of a room AND the Leo and Enneagram 4 with 3 wing parts of me relish the attention. It’s a constant battle!

You are a biz hero to so many people (more than you know!). What do you want all of your “invisible mentees” to know?

Awww, thanks! Hmmm, I want them to know soooo many things but I’ll keep it simple here and share one of the guiding principles from my new book: “Dream Big but Start Small.” Allow yourself to have your wildest, pie in the sky visions about what you want to create in the world. Be passionate about the impact you want to have. Just don’t get so overwhelmed by your big vision that you become paralyzed.

Instead, keep taking small steps forward toward your dream. Each small step will eventually add up. Remember that things take time, so be patient with yourself and your process. And make sure to get support along the way so your cohorts can remind you of the progress you’re making toward your big dream!

You have special gifts to share with the world so keep on keeping on!

Jenn, thank you so so much for 1. sharing your insight with us and 2. being awesome. Cause you are. So awesome. (Talk about sharing your gifts with the world! You have done so much for so many of us!! xox -Tiffany

**The Giveaway: To win a copy of Jenn’s new book, leave a comment below letting us know what your Start Small looks like by Friday (5/24) at 9am PST. The winner will be chosen at random. Good luck!

MPMH_blog

**graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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the Why of your commitment

the why of your commitment

Confession: I feed my babies formula.

I wanted to breast-feed. I took the classes and bought the books and the pillows and the bras. I was Committed.

But nature conspired against us: I hemorrhaged during my c-section (partly due to how big the girls were) and lost a lot of blood. This, combined with my having two babies to feed, made me an underdog straight out of the gate. 

We started supplementing with formula on day 3.

Fast forward to two weeks postpartum: I am still exhausted. Still doing my best to feed the babies. And still trying to make the breast-feeding happen.

Why? Because that’s what a good mother does. 

In my mind, a good mother does whatever it takes to feed her children the food that her body creates for them. Because breast is best. Because why wouldn’t you want to give your babies the best?

I kept it up long after I knew I wanted to stop. Every time I got out the breast pump, I would think “Really. Am I really doing this again?” and wonder when I could let it go. 

I talked to my midwife. And the girls’ pediatrician. And my OB – they all gave me their hearty blessing to move to 100% formula and assured me that a sane, happy mama was what was best for our girls. 

And yet, I could not come to peace with my decision.

Yes, I was an emotional new mama. Yes, I was completely sleep-deprived. Yes to a lot of things.

But then I realized, I was hanging on to the breast-feeding not because it was the best thing for me and my family, but because, to me, breastfeeding equated to being a good, caring, willing-to-make-any-sacrifices-necessary mother to my girls.

Which it does not.

I realized that, while committed, I wasn’t committed for the right reasons.

I was committed to a story that I was telling myself. And once I was able to let the story go, I was able to let the commitment go.

As we go through life, we remain committed to all kinds of things. Especially those of us who might be more stubborn than others (ahem…).

But how often do you step back to examine the why of your commitment? (click to tweet)

How often to you look at everything, not through the lens of a story you tell yourself, but through the lens of what is best for you, what actually makes the most sense and what you really want for your life?

What you really want for your life.

When was the last time you took a step back from it all to examine what you really want for your life?

Today, start there. If you don’t know what you want, start digging. Start thinking. Start trying. And failing. And learning. 

Because without knowing what you want, your commitments mean nothing.

(Trust me: crying into a breast pump does nobody any good.)

PS. Heads up: The Multi-Passionate Must-Haves sale is ON. These 30 courses, audios and ebooks (including my How to Say No) – worth $2046.95 – that allow you to integrate your many passions into your life and use them as fuel for income, are yours for just $97 ‘til Thursday (5/22) at midnight.

*photo by me; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

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