This week on Raise Your Hand Say Yes, I got to have the most fun time talking with my good friend Molly Mahar. We talked all about transitions – how to handle them with grace, what to do when they’re really inconvenient, and how to find joy in your life despite things not looking quite the way you’d like them to (because, when do things ever really look the way you want them to?).
We also talk about fear, how to know when to push and when to rest, and what it means to be a seeker. I am such a fan of Molly’s work and know you’ll find yourself nodding along to this entire episode!
Molly, I’m lucky to call you a friend! Thank you for making my job so fun!!
I’ve been wanting to tell you that I KNOW it all makes you uncomfortable – the thought of playing a bigger game for your life, of doing more things on your terms and not everyone else’s. I know it’s hard and scary and daunting.
I’ve been wanting to tell you that it’s daunting because you’ve spent most of your life taking care of everyone else – doing what they need you to, letting them be first. Because that’s how you were raised: to be quiet, and small and not make a fuss.
And I’ve been wanting to tell you that you can play by a different set of rules, for a different game: that it’s okay to make a fuss and raise your voice and cause heads to turn.
It’s okay to stand up for something you believe in – for yourself – even though other people may not like it. Even though it may make everyone who is used to you being quiet and small uncomfortable. Even though you aren’t sure that the world is ready for you.
I’ve been wanting to tell you that the world IS ready for you, that the people who need you have been waiting a lifetime and don’t even know it yet. And that you have power – real power – to serve and inspire and educate.
That your version of making a fuss isn’t about self-indulgent nonsense, it isn’t vanity or ego, it’s about you making your mark on this world. It’s about you having something to say that is so worth saying you can’t keep it in any longer.
It is about you realizing that you are a big fucking deal and starting to finally – finally! – own it.
Because you owe it to yourself, and to the people around you. You owe it to the next generation of this world to show them what happens when you stand up on your shaky legs and say that thing out loud that has the power to turn heads and shake up hearts and get people moving.
I’ve been wanting to tell you that I know it’s uncomfortable to think about and I know that you think you’d rather stay safe and quiet and small.
But I know that you’re still reading this, with a pounding heart, and thinking Could I? Maybe? Is she writing this to me?
And I’ve been wanting to tell you that Yes, I am writing this to you. Because I know you’re ready. I know you feel it too. And I know that your time is now.
Look. I love idea of passive income as much as everyone else, but I also have a big problem with the way it’s talked about in the online entrepreneur world. This week on the podcast, I’m tackling the myth of passive income, telling the truth that no one else is sharing and telling you what to focus on instead.
What I really want to say is that I don’t care. I know it’s hard. I’m tired of hearing it.
I don’t care that you’re an introvert.
I don’t care that your kids need to be fed or that there’s laundry to fold.
I don’t care that you aren’t sure how.
What I really want to say is that the name of your blog doesn’t matter. Your facebook page doesn’t matter. The number of instagram followers doesn’t matter. Your font doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you do the work, that you show up to the page or the canvas or the mat every single day and you make something happen.
What matters is that you keep showing up and doing the work until you find your thing. Until it clicks. Until you start hearing the voices in your head, the “yes…yes…YES” voices that say you have arrived. You have figured it out. For now anyways.
And what matters is that once you get the yes, you keep showing up and doing the work. You keep digging into the idea, reworking it, swirling it around in your mouth to get to know the nuances of the flavor.
What matters is that you use that yes to figure out what your next one is. And then show up again, do the work, and figure out the yes that comes after that one too.
What I really want to say is that all this waiting is getting you nowhere. And I know: you’re stuck and you aren’t sure. But I also know that you’re tired of it all, of taking the classes and reading the blogs and the magazines and watching the pictures of everyone else living their most DREAMY JUICY CREATIVE life go by.
You’re tired of waiting for your day to come, for it to finally be your turn.
But you know what? If all you’re doing is waiting, your day will never come. It will never be your turn.
What I really want to say is that it’s time TODAY for you to MAKE IT your turn. For you to claim what you want for yourself, no matter what. Even though you don’t have it figured out, especially since you don’t have it figured out.
Today. Right now. Do something – anything. But make sure that it’s something that matters. No more dicking around on social media. No more worrying and collecting inspiration.
All of that inspiration is bullshit if you aren’t willing to do anything with it.
Instead of collecting inspiration, go out into the world and CREATE your own. Find inspiration in the trees and the flowers and the butterflies, not on a screen in the comfort of your own home. Screen inspiration is the inspiration that will keep you small.
And who has time for staying small?
You only think you have time. Imagine how you would feel one week from now if you started today? Imagine what you’d be able to have gotten done in a month. Imagine where you’d be in a year if only you had started right now.
Do it today. Start writing. Pick up the paintbrush. Call your friend who has a lead on a job and make the appointment.
And if you have a business that you’re ready to take to the next level, join us for 100 Rejection Letters which will give you an entire year outside your comfort zone. Registration is open until Monday and this is the most affordable way to work with me long-term; we start November 2. Will you be there?
Your future self will thank you. For all of it.
Say yes to a weekly kick in the pants, delivered straight to your inbox. Bonus: Get your invite to join my private community of rad creatives.
I had the good fortune of meeting Kate McCombs at ALT this summer and knew immediately that she needed to come on Raise Your Hand Say Yes. Because, sex. It’s time to talk about sex y’all. But what does it have to do with your creative life? You’ll have to listen in to find out!
In this episode, we talk about the power of knowing (and being able to ask for!) what you want and need, the value of curiosity, and how to find out what delights you – both in and out of the bedroom. We also talked about the danger of having a signature move and how you can take small steps toward boldness. If you’ve ever wanted to speak up more for what you want (or need), this episode is for you. Also, #moresexplease right? Right.
Kate, you delight me! Thank you for all of it and keep doing your rad work in this world!
I was getting ready to come back from my maternity leave, contemplating my business, and I realized that what I saw didn’t thrill me.
I was doing okay. Everything was just fine. Things were good enough.
But everything had changed. I had two new little human beings that were dependent on my (and my time and my energy). I could no longer spend all my hours spinning my wheels, hoping that things would pick up for me.
The late nights at the keyboard wouldn’t work anymore.
The but maybe one day’s wouldn’t work anymore.
The wishing and waiting and hoping that someone would notice me wouldn’t work anymore.
And I knew that if, 5 years later, my business was still in the okay-just fine-good enough place, I’d have to call it quits.
It would have failed.
Except, that’s not how I wanted to fail.
I realized that if I had to throw in the towel on my business, I’d want to be certain that I’d done everything I could to make a go of it.
If I failed at business, I wanted to fail BIG. I wanted to be certain that I’d tried my hardest, that I’d gone all in, that I’d laid all my cards on the table to find success for myself. For the sake of those two new human beings, the ones who would someday look up to me as their role model.
And so I committed to raising my hand and saying yes – to the potential of rejection, to experimenting, to trying, to learning, and to evolving.
Is this scary? Yep.
Is it vulnerable? You bet.
Do I sometimes wish I could just let it go and ease up on myself? More often than you’d think.
But, it’s also exciting. And empowering. And enticing. By putting myself in control of my potential failure, I’ve also put myself in control of my success.
Instead of waiting around for someone to take care of things for me, I’m going after opportunities for myself. I’m doing the work to create what I want in my business. I’m not looking for permission slips or invitations. I’m writing my own.
And it feels in-fucking-credible!
And now I turn the question to you – how do you want to fail? Do you want to never publish that book because you just never tried hard enough? Or do you want to know that you did everything you could to get that manuscript in front of the world?
Do you want to keep on waiting around for someone big to notice you or do you want to start building actual relationships with people?
Do you want to keep on settling for okay-just fine-good enough until it becomes your normal?
Or do you want to fail BIG? Do you want to go all in? Do you want to commit to getting out of your comfort zone despite how vulnerable it feels?
If you have a creative business, 100 Rejection Letters will take you far outside of your comfort zone for an entire year and allow you to play and grow and experiment and start taking action towards what you want.
Early-bird pricing ends Monday, and there are still bonus 1-on-1 sessions left.
If you don’t have a creative business, consider what creative endeavor you’ve been dragging your heels on and take a step now TODAY towards something bigger for yourself. You owe this to yourself. (And the fact that you’ve made it this far in the post, tells me that you’re hungry for more.)
I have been a fan of Paul Jarvis‘s writing for many years and loved having the opportunity to talk with him this week for Raise Your Hand Say Yes! We talked about boundaries in business (how to set them – and keep them!), how to keep things simple, and the power of creative risks.
We also talked about how to say no, what to do when you want to create but aren’t sure where to start and how to handle your brain being an asshole (cause we all know it happens!). If you’ve ever found perfection holding you back from starting, launching, or creating, this episode might just be exactly what you need to get going!
Paul, thank you times a million for dropping your knowledge!
PS. Early-bird registration for 100 Rejection Letters ends on Monday 10/19. If you have any questions about the program or want to make sure you’re a good fit, please join me on Friday 10/16 for a Q&A Webinar. You’ll hear more about why I created the program, what’s changing with this new round, and get all of your questions answered! RSVP here (a recording will be shared if you can’t make it live!)
Say yes to a weekly kick in the pants, delivered straight to your inbox. Bonus: Get your invite to join my private community of rad creatives.
Something I hear from people all the time is, “Well, if I was just fearless like you, I could definitely go after my dreams.”
And then I chuckle to myself because I feel fear all the time.
It’s true. I’m not fearless.
I get nervous. VERY nervous.
I procrastinate. A LOT.
I try to hide from the things that I want for my life and business because they make me uncomfortable.
I spend too much time on social media.
I dance around conversations that require confrontation.
I avoid people and places where I’m not sure of the outcome.
But I try to push past all of that most of the time.
Because I know that being a person who is afraid doesn’t work for me. I know that hiding from what I want doesn’t get me closer to any of the things I want for my life.
But that doesn’t mean the fear goes away. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel nerves all the time. It doesn’t mean that I always know what to say or how something’s going to play out or that I’m 100% comfortable with what I’m doing (and how I’m feeling) at all times.
Most of the time, I have a running dialogue of “OMG, Tiffany, are you crazy?! I can’t believe you’re doing this.” running through my head.
And then I take a deep breath and hit send, shaky hands and all.
Then, once I’ve done it, I stand up and jump around, turn up my music and think “Ahh! What have I done?”
And here’s what I know – everything I have in my business today is all based on action.
Action is how I’ve been able to move things forward in my business. Action is how I’ve been able to make things happen and grow.
Action is how I was able to make decisions about my brand and what I stand for and what I really want to say.
Action is how I was able to look at what I wanted for my business, say things out loud and proactively go after opportunities instead of waiting for them to come to me.
Action. Action. Action.
Do I need to say it again?
And it’s not just about action, but action despite the fear, despite the nerves, despite the but I’m not sure‘s, because the best way to convince yourself of how much you know is to DO THE WORK AND REALIZE THAT THE SKY DIDN’T FALL.
You raise your hand and say yes. And then you trust that you will figure it out.
Because the fact that you’re reading this email tells me that you are a person who figures her shit out.
You making it this far in the message tells me that you’re ready for more. That you’re ready to take your own form of action. That you’re ready to make your own brand of magic.
This week on Raise Your Hand Say Yes, I have the good fortune of talking with the amazingly talented (and super smart!) Austin Kleon (who I’ve been looking forward to interviewing for AGES!). We cover all things creativity in this episode, including real estate (and what it has to do with your art!), the three things that are essential to creativity (and the one thing that isn’t!), when to trust yourself versus your audience, telling your story and sharing your process, and why having a day job isn’t as bad as online marketers make us think it is!
We also talk about books, I share my secret wish to write a YA novel one of these days, and I give Austin a bit of advice on how to figure out what town he should move to next! This conversation was such a treat for me, and I know you’ll enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed having it!
Austin, that was about as fun as a podcast episode could get! Thank you for sharing your time with us!
Like, if you had the freedom to start from scratch and rebuild, to clear it all off the table and start fresh?
What would you want for yourself?
Where would you want to be?
What things would you do differently, knowing what you know now?
Yes. You are brilliant where you are. Of course. And all of your life’s experiences have led you to now. Of course.
But. But. By considering how you would redesign things from the ground up, you can see what’s really working and what isn’t.
If you had complete and utter freedom, what would you want for yourself?
Hone in on the answer to this question and let it move you out of the I don’t know zone and into creating something new for yourself.
Most of us don’t have the freedom to walk away from our lives. But. We do have the freedom to take tiny baby steps toward change. To make small adjustments that add up over time.
We can change how we show up in our lives. The truths we speak. What we value the most.
We can change the people we surround ourselves with and the energy we emit. We can change the things that we say yes to, and the subsequent things we say no to.
And all of these things – the ones that are in our control – add up to a life.
A life that we can either be in control of, driving the bus and calling the shots, or a life that we can be a passenger in, just along for the ride, not having any say in the direction we go.
I know which one I’d rather be. You?
So tell me…what would you do if you were Alexandra Franzen? Or Ellen? Or Mindy Kaling?
What would you do if you had the creative freedom of being able to say whatever you want out loud? (Hint: you do.)
What would you say yes to (and say no to) if you had to set boundaries on your time because you were running an in demand creative business?
Who would you be if you would just get out of your own way and get on with it already?
Love, it’s time to pull your cape out of the back of the closet, blow off the dust, and be your own hero. (Tweet it.)
Think about it – you don the cape, and then what? What would be the first thing you’d do?
Where would you start? What would you let go of and what would you start? Right away.
Because that’s the thing about superheros. They don’t have time to fuck around. They are busy being super.
And that’s the thing about you – you ARE already a hero. It’s just time you took a look in the mirror and started owning it. (Tweet it.)
2015. The year that I always thought we’d have flying cars. But if we don’t have that kind of magic yet, isn’t it time – instead – that you started to own it? To really claim what you want for yourself?
The year that you go all in on the business.
The year that you start loving yourself first.
The year that you say no. All the time.
And the year that you create room with all your no’s for that one big life-changing, oh yeah baby yes. The YES that will change it all. The one that will be your tipping point, the first of many, the one where you look back on it all and think wow, it was that simple. What was I waiting for?
PS. If you want to go all in and start making some asks, you can learn my pitching secrets tomorrow at noon PST in a free webinar. RSVP here (the recording will be shared if you can’t make it live!)