the value of YOUR story (just as it is.)

value_of_your_story

I had a very healthy pregnancy. Short of severe-ish morning sickness, it was textbook normal.

I carried my twins to 38 weeks, 4 days without any bedrest. Or crazy back pain. Or scares. Everything was fine. The girls were born very VERY healthy. In fact, the doctors who performed my c-section nearly couldn’t get them out through their original incision. Because they were bigger than they ever see twins.

*Side note in case you’re looking for tips on a healthy pregnancy: I ate a lot of tacos, cheeseburgers, and ice cream; drank a ton of water; and made daily naps part of my routine. Also, I chilled the eff out about anything I couldn’t control. That’s it. 

I’m writing this not to brag about my pregnancy but to bring up the validity of my story:  My pregnancy, even though it was uneventful, even though it could be considered boring, is still worthy of talking about. The story of my twins matter even if nothing scary or life-threatening or tragic happened.

We put a lot of clout into crazy stories. We favor the drama. We love a good comeback. Or rising above.

For those of us who don’t fall under the near-death, rock-bottom, omg-you-simply-won’t-believe-what-happened categories, it’s easy to think that our stories don’t matter.

That they don’t need to be told. 

That they aren’t enough. 

{Spoiler: They do matter. They do need to be told. They are enough.}

The stories we hear are either the tragic, heart-breaking ones or the picture perfect ones. It’s time to start telling the stories of the in-between.

There’s beauty in the boring. There’s magnificence in the mundane. (click to tweet)

You don’t have to set your hair on fire every night to have an exciting life.

Your living room doesn’t have to be photograph-ready and blog worthy for your home to be beautiful.

You don’t have to spend your days making pinterest-worthy crafts with your children to be a good mother.

You can have a marriage built not on hard work, but on effort. And love. And laughter.

You can have a family that taught you the meaning of loyalty, and values, and trust without your holidays being filled with tragedy and conflict.

You can have dated men who – while perhaps not being right – treated you with respect and helped you learn what you wanted from a partner.

You don’t have to have been fired from your perfect on paper job to make you appreciate entrepreneurship.

You don’t have to have nearly died to appreciate your good health.

You don’t need to have nearly lost it all to make what your life worth living.

 Some of us are born with better circumstances that others. Some of us are dealt better cards.

Who are we to set those cards on fire and demand a different hand – one that is harder to win the game with, one that requires tricky betting or bluffing or a 1 in 52 chance of drawing that ace?

What if we play the cards we have. Proudly. With gratitude. And respect.

What if we say, “Hey. These cards are awesome. Instead of begrudging them, I’m going to do something with them.”?

And what if we start telling our stories? Just as they are. Just as we’ve experienced them.

On this note, I’m thrilled to introduce you to my new personal blog – A Different Kind of Story – a place where I will be telling the stories of my life.

Won’t you join me?

*photo by Tiffany Schoepp; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching

5 thoughts on “the value of YOUR story (just as it is.)

  1. I was just having this discussion with a writer friend of mine. I don’t have a disease, addiction, horrible family background etc–so who am I to write in the personal memoir style? She assured me that by the shear act of being human and having a unique point of view “qualified” me as a writer. Took the weight off, for sure!

    1. Yes, brilliant! I think we should all write memoirs in the medium of our choice – painting, photographs, writing – they’re all forms of storytelling.

  2. I got this e-mail at the perfect time. Although I have some issues from my past, none of them are because someone did something horrible, or something terrible was done to me. I struggle with those issues, and sometimes question how nutso I am to be even complaining. I’ve been wanting to write a lot on my blog about self-love, something I have to work on, but I was feeling doubtful because I felt like my stories were not exciting enough. Thank you for this.

  3. I. Love. This. I’ve got a pretty “average” life, all things considered. I also had a normal, healthy pregnancy that led to an uncomplicated natural birth. And I actually think therein lies the value: Pregnancy and birth doesn’t have to be a big, scary, or even painful thing. All I really wanted to read before giving birth were personal stories of successful, healthy births (well, and Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions, for postpartum perspective). Maybe it’s time I add my story to the mix. :) Thanks for the motivation, as always!

    1. Emy, Right?! And you’re so welcome!! Yes – tell your story! We need to hear it. (Also, checking out “Operating Instructions” stat. Love Anne Lamott.) PS. Hope you guys are doing great!! We should for sure have a baby playdate one of these days ;)

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