Tiffany Han [00:00:00]: Alright, y'all, today we are talking about, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun momentum. And we are not doing a physics lesson, although I will have a small physics lesson in here. But we are talking about how can you feel like you are making momentum towards your goals, towards how you want to feel, towards what you want your life to look like and be towards. Honestly, any of those things in life. There are so many pieces to pay attention to and so many things that often are happening to us all the time. And it can be so easy to be stuck in these cycles of reactivity. Or one more thing, you know, life is just adulting is just like saying, oh, I'll do that. When things calm down over and over again, one more thing always keeps showing up.

Tiffany Han [00:00:49]: Things never calm down. And then I guess we die. I don't know. Oh, maybe that's not how we want to live. It's not how we want to live. So what can we do instead? We can think about momentum. And today I'm going to be giving you three things and a question for you to ask as you consider what you want the momentum in your life to look like and feel like, and how you can get started right away, asterisk, in a way that probably is going to look different than you think it should, but and is going to be more effective if you're willing to play along and give it a shot. Let's dive in.

Tiffany Han [00:01:40]: Okay, so the first thing that I want to do as we dive into this idea of momentum is think about the definition of momentum and how does one calculate momentum in physics? This is going to be a simple one if you are not a science person. But I always think that it's really. I always find it really interesting to pick up these patterns in the scientific world and see how we can apply them to our lives. So in science, momentum, which is a p, for whatever reason, momentum, the momentum of an object is equal to its mass times its velocity. And this right here is going to give us our first key to momentum, which is in order for you to start finding momentum, you have to do exactly that. You have to have started. So step number one in getting onto your momentum journey is starting. Duh.

Tiffany Han [00:02:57]: Right? Because if your velocity is zero, momentum is zero. Right. But here's why we have to talk about it. It seems obvious. Sure. And so often people will come to me and they'll be like, ugh, I just. I just wish that I had momentum. And I'll say, towards what? Right, like towards what? And they can't answer it.

Tiffany Han [00:03:23]: They aren't sure, or they'll be like, towards any of it, towards more creativity, towards more joy, towards more delight, towards more anything. And to get there, they're doing nothing. Right. We're sitting right on the starting line, wishing that we had that momentum. And so you have to start in order to be making forward progress, to be having forward motion towards momentum. But, and this is where our all or nothing brains get real tricky and are not working in our favor. Do you have to start going 150 mph right out of the gate? No, all you have to do is anything. All you have to do is anything.

Tiffany Han [00:04:22]: Because any forward motion is going to help give you a sense of momentum. So your speed, your velocity. Right. Your forward speed could end up starting slow and then working up. And as that happens, your momentum is going to increase. So what would it look like for you to start something, anything, anywhere? Right here. Right. And as you think about this, this is what we hate, is being on the starting line and then having to start at the starting line.

Tiffany Han [00:05:06]: Because what we wish we could do is just bypass all of this and like, oh, can I just catapult myself over there? Well, I mean, number one, no, because if you did, it would be painful. Right? We think that's what we want. But the beautiful thing about being on a journey is that every step of the journey teaches you more about what you need to know for the next step of the journey. And if we just, like, catapult past all this, I mean, sure, it would be nice, like, wouldn't be such a pain in the butt, but if we catapult past all this, we're not going to know the things that we need to know. Ugh. Can I just, like, get through one day without some life lessons? Like, I wish. I mean, I wish, too. Yes.

Tiffany Han [00:05:55]: So where can you start? Where do you need to start? Where is your sweet little brain getting stuck up in that all or nothing thinking? And how can you look at both and thinking, or how can you look at everything that you're playing with, like, on a spectrum, instead of just these two ends, which is very. Ugh. You're holding everything real tight. Right. Okay. The next thing that I want you to think about, as you are considering the momentum that you're craving, how you want to feel, we've always got to think about how do you want to feel? Even though the world is telling us to think about what do you want to do? What are your big goals? I don't know. My big goals these days are to feel like, as peaceful as possible. Mmm.

Tiffany Han [00:06:45]: It is juicy. And then I can think about what are the things that I want to do to feel as peaceful as possible. But anyway, as you're thinking about how you want to feel and what you want to do and the momentum that you're craving, we've got starting. The next thing that I want you to consider are what outside forces are at play. Here's why. We know from Sir Isaac Newton that. I'm just throwing around the names these days. We know from Sir Isaac Newton that an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted on by an outside force.

Tiffany Han [00:07:30]: And so if you are somebody who has done a lot of, like, starting and stopping and starting and stopping and starting and stopping and starting and stopping, there might be some outside forces at play that are getting in the way, that are getting in between you and the momentum that you're craving. Okay, well, yeah. What do I do? Do I just, like, kick my kids out of the house and quit my job so that I have no outside forces acting on my life? No, that is not my advice. Instead, think about what outside forces do you have control over. Maybe you want to show up differently to some of these outside forces, and maybe you actually want to create some boundaries, the b word, some boundaries to help kind of guard you while you're on your journey so that you can start finding momentum. So again, all or nothing thinking says, get your kids out of the house, quit your job, walk away from your whole life, burn it all down so that you can have what you want, because all of these other people are just getting in the way. All or nothing thinking is not serving you. And all or nothing thinking does not bring you to the life you want.

Tiffany Han [00:08:57]: Because here's the thing. All or nothing thinking is never going to be satisfied because we can always then try to have more and the opposite of more. In all or nothing thinking is, pss. Nothing. Not helpful. Right? So again, this is a practice. We're going to practice stepping into a different way of thinking about living life on this beautiful spectrum. Life in Technicolor.

Tiffany Han [00:09:22]: It's not black and white. It's not either or. It's not all or nothing. It's this whole vast array of colors and beauty and experiences and way to be. And we are going to say, okay, what are my goals? How do I want to feel? What is important to me? And how can I put some, like, bumpers on it so that it is nothing as susceptible to these outside forces? Call it bumpers. We can call it boundaries. Here's an example of that. I work from home.

Tiffany Han [00:10:06]: This is my office. It is right in the front of my house. So I've got some double doors here. On the other side of the double doors is the entryway to my house. Front doors there. Kitchens there. Living rooms that way. This area is just like Grand Central Station.

Tiffany Han [00:10:24]: When kids are coming and going, groceries are coming over, friends are coming. Like, groceries are coming home, friends are coming over. Dog needs to go out. Like, all the things. It's just boom, boom, boom. And this summer, my kids were home. Tim was home. Yes.

Tiffany Han [00:10:41]: Great summer. And, oh, my God, everybody was driving me crazy, because, like, every 20 minutes, it was like, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. And then the door would slam, and then people would be fighting. People. My girls would be fighting, like, right there, just right on the other side of the door. And I was like, I am going crazy. I just felt like all day, all I was doing was starting and stopping. What is going on? Why can't I find any momentum? And so finally what I did is I didn't say, you guys have to leave for the next two weeks so I can work.

Tiffany Han [00:11:25]: Instead, I said, hey, I am having a hard time getting things done. What can I do in order to really, like, deliver the message to you guys that I'm working? I need some quiet. I'm maybe trying to record in here whatever it is that I'm doing. What can I do to send that message so that you can know what I need? And then I'm not always being frustrated and resentful and beating myself up for not having momentum. What we realized is that we already have the answer, which is, I have a recording sign outside my office door that's been there for years, but it stopped working a while ago. So we fixed that. Bada boom, bada boom, bada bing, bada boom. I have my sign.

Tiffany Han [00:12:07]: And guess what? It started work. It worked, right? I was able, when I was recording or on a call, I put up that sign. Everybody left me alone, and they actually, like, fought elsewhere and didn't slam the door, and it was great. So as you think about outside forces, consider, what do you need? What do you. What do, ooh, ooh, ooh. What do you need? Not what will somebody else do, right? But, like, hey, darlin what do you need out of this whole arrangement? And then again, stepping beyond that, all or nothing. What are some ways that you can put that thing you want to get momentum around in a protective bubble? Okay, another example. Let's say that Jenny wants to train for a marathon.

Tiffany Han [00:12:55]: Half marathon. Half marathon. And so she's like, I need to run six days a week to train for my half. And that gets in the way of dinner because Jenny doesn't like getting up early, gets in the way of dinner. And also, like, after work, she comes home, she's like, I'm so tired. Okay, so what are the outside forces? I don't know. Sleep, work, meals, eating, all of that. The other thing to consider that is an outside force here.

Tiffany Han [00:13:25]: That is like an invisible outside force is just society's expectations that we are going to over deliver and over perform and set these big goals. Hey, Jenny, maybe you don't need to train six days a week. Maybe that's too much, too soon, all or nothing. Because what ends up happening is that Jenny misses two days in a row and there are seven days in a week. You've already missed two. That only leaves five. So you can't even hit your six days. And Jenny goes over to nothing.

Tiffany Han [00:13:55]: And it's like, fine, then I am just going to lay on the couch and watch the secret life of the secret lives of Mormon wives. Screw it. But listen, y'all, I'm all about laying on the couch, watching some tv because screw it from like, a super empowered place. Great. Screw it from an all or nothing place where we are still after. Screw it. Wanting momentum. Not helpful.

Tiffany Han [00:14:22]: So instead, Jenny, think about those expectations, and maybe you want to bump that goal down to three days a week. What? But it's not enough. Guess what, Jenny? It's better than none. And it's doable. You can always do more. But, and my darling, you are not a good judge of how long it's going to take you to do things. And also, you are not a good judge of setting realistic goals for your actual energy levels. We are really good at setting goals for our best, most energetic days and calling those days normal.

Tiffany Han [00:15:03]: So, yes, it is an adjustment to start reshaping your goals so that they actually fit into the life that you currently have. And it's a gift. It's an adjustment and a gift. Try it. Even for one day. If it makes you feel really uncomfortable, try it and watch what happens. All right, our third thing, it is an outside force. And it's also something that we can both plan for and will show up unexpectedly.

Tiffany Han [00:15:38]: And that number three thing is friction. Here's why friction gets its own line on the list. There is always going to be friction that shows up. Friction is always something that happens. And friction absolutely will slow us down in our quest for momentum. Right? If you are trying to roll a bowling ball down a very smooth surface, it's going to go a certain speed, it is going to have a certain forward motion. And then if you roll a bowling ball down a very bumpy surface, it's going to be different, right? Because of friction. Just like with my example before, we.

Tiffany Han [00:16:31]: We are not good at planning for friction, y'all. We are actually bad. We are bad. We are bad at planning for friction. We are also bad at acknowledging the real the. We're bad at acknowledging what our lives actually look like and who we actually are. Jenny is like, maybe I'll get up twice a month, twice a week to do that early run. Jenny, you're not going to get up twice a week unless you want to start going to bed super early.

Tiffany Han [00:17:06]: But when you do that, you just lay there because you can't sleep. Right. That's okay, Jenny. You don't have to get up early. But let's tell the truth. Instead of trying to get up early and not being able to and then beating yourself up and thinking that you're never going to get your half marathon done. Jenny, I want you to do the half marathon if that's what you really want. All right? Like, I want this to happen for you.

Tiffany Han [00:17:29]: But part of that friction is how you feel in the morning. Okay, great. Let's acknowledge it and work with it. Let's not keep being surprised by the friction. One thing that you can do to just prepare yourself better for potential friction is as you're thinking about momentum, as you're thinking about starting, and how to protect yourself from the outside forces is to say when the friction shows up, here are some different things I can do. Oh, Jenny could go for a run during her lunch hour. She could make plans to run with a friend on the weekend. She could, I don't know, try to get a treadmill off of Facebook by nothing group.

Tiffany Han [00:18:14]: Sure. Good job, Jenny. How are we going to deal with the rain? I don't know. Let's see what happens. Right. Notice that we're not saying if friction shows up. We're saying when because it will. And that doesn't mean anything other than you are a human, like, existing on this planet, trying to stay sane and do things and feel a certain way and make beautiful things in your life happen.

Tiffany Han [00:18:41]: And all of it counts, and all of it is beautiful. Okay, finally, y'all, my last question. Okay, finally, y'all, we've got one question here, and this is a question that I want you to practice asking over and over and over again when it comes to what you want for yourself and your life. How can I make this as fun and easy as possible? Yeah. Not how do I get more discipline? Not how do I focus harder. Not, oh, why am I such an idiot? Why can't I do this? Why is momentum so impossible for me? No, no, no. We are approaching this all different. Y'all know the raise your hand, say yes way is not to, like, bang your head against the wall harder.

Tiffany Han [00:20:02]: So instead, I want you to ask, how can I make this as fun and easy as possible? Listen to me now. When you start to ask this question, there are gonna be voices in your head being like, you can't do that. You're not allowed to do that. That's cheating. If you have to make it fun and easy. Jenni, you don't even wanna run that marathon. Listen to me. Those voices are bullshit.

Tiffany Han [00:20:26]: They are never gonna be happy for you. Never. Or if they are, they're gonna be happy for you for, like, half a second, and then they're gonna find something else to nitpick you about. I promise. That's what they do. They think they're helping. They're not. So it's up to you and your deeper self to recognize that those voices are gonna start jamming.

Tiffany Han [00:20:46]: And it is your job to stay with yourself. Trust me. When you don't know what to do next and practice this and, like, let's see what happens, right? Do you want momentum, or do you want to find the capital r? Absolutely. Single one. Right way to do something. Keep your fingers crossed that this time, you can white knuckle it and grit your teeth and hope that it works. There is an answer I want you to pick, and it is answer number a. I want to try a new way and see what happens.

Tiffany Han [00:21:28]: How can I make this as fun and easy as possible? If you are feeling like, okay, yes, fine. I. Tiffany, fine. And you're gonna try it the next. I want you to go listen to the fear episode, because that is gonna help you really understand in that moment of fear what to do next, how to proceed. Can you make your fear go away? Should you fight it? Should you not fight it? All of that, y'all, you're awesome. You're amazing. You are doing great.

Tiffany Han [00:22:00]: Keep going. Keep it fun and easy. Have a good time. This is your life. I want you to enjoy it. Like, today is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. Have as much fun as possible.

Tiffany Han [00:22:14]: Let me know where you get stuck and if you have any questions, and I'll see you soon. Bye.