I want to buy my house, and I want the process to be smooth and easy and comfortable.
I want to get a handle on all the money stuff, come up with a savings plan, and a retirement plan and a college plan for the girls.
I want to take care of all the things that need to be taken care of – the life insurance, the will, the passports, all the paperwork. I want to have systems so that we aren’t constantly being ruled by our to do lists.
I want to have quiet. Real quiet. Without the phone or screens or people pinging me.
I want to have dance parties. Every day. I want to move my body and wake up refreshed and eat real food and know what it is to be healthy and in control of how I feel.
I want to spend enough time with my friends. So that I look forward to being with them, put the phone away so that I can be present, and miss them once they’re gone.
I want to find time for myself, time to wander, and I want to teach the girls the same value of wandering and wondering.
I want to have less stuff to make room for experiences. Clean it all out, clear the clutter, and be able to live my life instead of constantly trying to make things fit, both literally and figuratively.
I want to love. I want everyone in my life to know how freaking much I adore them. I don’t ever want anyone to wonder what I was thinking.
I want to speak my truth, all of it, even when it makes me uncomfortable.
I want my voice to be heard – loud and clear.
I want to stand up straight, stand tall in who I am whether I’m standing on a stage or in my kitchen.
I want to be successful in a way that isn’t measured in money, but in time spent with my family, time spent writing shitty first drafts, time spent looking at the big picture and the little picture and finding my happy place with all of it.
But I also want to make money. I want to be able to support my family. I want to do it by following my intuition about the creative projects I want to take on, with more podcast episodes and collaborations and things that just seem fun instead of the things that seem like I’m following rules from someone else’s playbook.
I want to find that happy place of success – where I am making things happen without working my fingers to the bone, where I am finding ease in the work that I’m doing and how I’m doing it and who I’m doing it with.
I want to keep saying oh, hell yes to the things that spark joy in me and let the rest go. With grace and gratitude and forgiveness.
I want to release all the things that don’t fill me up to make room for something else.
I want to remember – every single day – that there is enough success and love and faith and grace and all of it for everyone. That the Universe is always conspiring in our favor. And that, the key to it all, is to get out of your own way, start getting quiet so that you can listen, and let it do its work.
I want to know that it’s scary, but do it anyway. I want to feel the thrill of the what if? and send the email or make the big ask or put myself in front of the eyeballs, knowing that, even if it doesn’t work, I really did try my hardest to make it happen.
I want to hold on to those emails I get from people, the ones that say it’s like you’re talking straight to me or you have no idea how much I needed this and know that this is why I’m doing the work I’m doing.
I want to keep writing those emails, the ones that I really write for myself, but looking back, hear the whisper of Someone else might need this too and so I hit send even though it feels vulnerable and I’m just not sure.
I want to keep going even though I’m never going to be 100% sure. To let those inklings of doubt and fear and thrill be the signs to take another step, that I’m on the right path. I want to let those be the things that motivate me and reinforce what I’m doing.
And I want to remember – through all of it – that, at the end of the day, the way that I feel when I open my eyes in the morning is what determines my success, not the numbers in my bank account or on my twitter followers list or in my website stats.
* this was inspired by my dear friend Michelle Ward’s post Dear Future Me. I highly recommend setting some goals for yourself down on paper.
** photo by Tim Han; graphic by Erin Cassidy for Tiffany Han Coaching
*** see what happens when I join forces with Michelle and Erin? We are cooking up something magical (coming in March!) and omg. It’s going to be Legit y’all.