Tiffany Han [00:00:01]: Hi friends. Welcome back. And today we are going to talk about saying yes to your quiet whispers, how to know which ones to say yes to, and how to actually say yes to them. This is technically part two in my series on the yeses that have made the biggest difference in my life. If you missed last week's, I'll include a link. Or if you're new here, last week I talked about three big yeses and a whole bunch of small ones that I had made in my life that were those turning point. Everything is going to be different from here on out. Yeses.

Tiffany Han [00:00:37]: Now, we all know that there's one thing to say that you have yeses you want to say. Say that there are things you want to raise your hand and say yes to, and it's another to actually do it. We have all downloaded the three easy step PDF's of how to do this. We've watched the videos and we want to have the answers. I get it. And I want you to know that as much as you are longing for those things, the experience of being in your life with this longing is always going to feel different than the three step PDF's make it seem. I feel the need to be clear and transparent about that because it's easy for me to sit here and just say, oh, right, in this 20 minutes video, I'm going to tell you everything you need to know about saying yes. I'm a certified life coach and I've been doing this work for 13 years.

Tiffany Han [00:01:30]: I've worked with this many hundreds of people and helped them make all these changes, and I've impacted thousands. And yes, like all of that is great, not discounting that. But when you are sitting and holding a yes, it feels wobbly, it feels uncertain, it feels often like this not beautiful thing. And so I'm going to do what I can to condense this down into one YouTube video and know that it's gonna take time. And this does not always happen like that. And that is okay. Much as the algorithms want us to promise the immediate bite size tangible result, sure, great, there is a place for that. And as much as I am told that I need to establish my authority and make sure you get your wins and all of that and just go out there and do it.

Tiffany Han [00:02:25]: No big deal. This is, this is a process. There are going to be some of you that want to take action on things right away, and some of you are going to need to simmer on things, and some of you are going to let the yeses that you want unfold and expand. And life doesn't always give us the quick and easy version. I wish it did. I wish that so much. But we know that's not how life works. And if life did work that way, we may not need the Internet as much as we do.

Tiffany Han [00:02:55]: I hope this process feels great for you, and I hope that you get what you want. But if it doesn't feel great or you don't get what you want right away, don't give up. Keep going for yourself. Keep trying and listening and playing and wondering, keep doing all of that, because it really does matter. And if you walk away from this video with nothing else except the knowledge that the things that you feel and experience are experienced by other people, that you are not alone, and those things that make you feel like the most lonely and the most disconnected, because you have all this stuff happening on the inside that you don't see anybody else having on the outside. All that you walk away from this video with is the knowledge that you are not alone. That I have done my job. I have done my job.

Tiffany Han [00:03:44]: I also want to make it clear the path that you are on is going to meander. Let it. What I see time and time again is we make ourselves wrong because the experience of our lives, again, what it feels like in here, that in real time way of doing things, it does not look the way everybody else says it should look. Everybody's path meanders. We just don't always see it when we are in the highlight reel, that that is the Internet presenting things to us. I also want to be clear that when we talk about listening to whispers, I am not batting a thousand when it comes to listening to my own whispers. I have a lot of ideas, I have a lot of whispers. I have a lot of things that I want.

Tiffany Han [00:04:31]: I have ADHD, and I have a brain that will forever be pinging me and this video today. This is not like a directive to go out and do all of the things all of the time as quickly as possible. Instead, it's an invitation to start relating to yourself and start noticing what you want in a different way. But I don't want you to think that you have to respond to all of the whispers. I don't want you to be like, oh my God, I have this very big, long to do list of all these yeses that Tiffany said I had to do in this very easy, quick, three step way. That's not what we're after either. So really trust in the process and trust that much of this process of raising your hand and saying yes and identifying what, what you want your life to look like, what you don't want your life to look like. How you can really deliberately and intentionally step into the life that you want and what bold moves you can make within it.

Tiffany Han [00:05:35]: What do you need to do? What? Are you ready to say no to all of those pieces? How you can create the space. This is a lifelong process. This is not one and done. Do it until you get the book deal and then you're done. This is about how do I step beyond what everybody has told me to do, beyond obligation? How do I prioritize joy and delight and being present and get to really live in a way that is aligned with me. Yeah, we get to do that for the rest of our lives. This process of being, with your whispers, of really recognizing those yeses, it's about noticing. It's about learning how to be present with yourself, with what you want and what you don't want, with what you're feeling, with what your needs are, with what your desires are, with everything around you.

Tiffany Han [00:06:27]: Yay. Step one is getting quiet enough to hear the whispers, which means becoming less busy. What? Hmm. I don't know. Should we do a whole episode about becoming less busy? Let me know in the comments if that feels good to you. If your brain is just crammed full all the time, you're never going to be able to hear any of the whispers so often as step one, the best thing that you can do is not much pause, create some space, do nothing, get some rest, have some quiet time. Ten minutes a day, I'm busy. I'm a juggler.

Tiffany Han [00:07:20]: I'm a multitasker. We have all of these things to do, and we don't always have a choice because they're our responsibilities. And I get it. And those responsibilities don't take away our longings. And often our longings are pointed to something more powerful, something bigger and better. So even if you can only spare ten minutes a day, take that ten minutes a day. Now, slowing down enough to here might take a minute. Think about stopping a freight train.

Tiffany Han [00:07:59]: It does not come to a halt as soon as you pull on that brake. That's okay. If you are barreling down your life, if you are going a million miles an hour, it's going to take you time to slow down. It's going to take you time to make space for those whispers. That is okay. Let it take the time that it takes. You're not going to beat yourself up for it. Taking more time than you think it should.

Tiffany Han [00:08:24]: You are not going to judge yourself. You are not going to say, well, Tiffany said this was just step one, and I'm supposed to have everything done 15 minutes ago. I wish that I could promise that that would be great, but that's not how life works. So let it take the time that it takes. Create the quietest to hear the whispers. And at first, they're gonna be tiny, tiny, teeny tiny whispers. Hello. And all I want you to do is just notice them.

Tiffany Han [00:08:57]: We're listening. We're listening. That's step two. Notice the whispers. Just be with them. Hear them say, oh, that might be a whisper over there. Oh, that might be a whisper over there. The more that you notice them, the more that you see them, those tiny little whispers, they will get louder.

Tiffany Han [00:09:20]: We're just seeing what there is. When you are in this step and you're doing the noticing, I want you to think about each of these whispers as a seed. Nothing happens to the seeds when they're in your hand. This is just about noticing, getting curious about what's there and really thinking about the potential. You don't have to plant the seeds right away. You're not automatically taking on the responsibility to tend all of these whispers. You're just being with the potential of it. You're in the space.

Tiffany Han [00:09:53]: You're seeing what there is to see. You're noticing, you're wondering, what could these grow into? And you're learning how to dance with those whispers, how to give them a little bit of room and a little bit of life. If it feels good to write them down, great. If it doesn't, don't. Again, no wrong answers here. We don't have to be attached to anything. If you want to write them down and then throw it away or write yourself an email and then delete it, all of that is okay. There are no wrong answers.

Tiffany Han [00:10:26]: And the whispers that are meant for you are going to keep showing up. They are going to keep coming and knocking on the door, and you are going to try to push them away. I promise. You are gonna try to push them away and ignore them and be like, oh, my God, why won't you leave me alone? And they'll keep showing up. Trust it. Number three here is to notice which whispers either feel most resonant. Hello, full body. Yes.

Tiffany Han [00:10:55]: Or the ones that you are like, oh, my God, no, I definitely cannot do that. Right. What are the whispers that you are just, you cannot even look at? For me, that was quitting drinking. When I first had that whisper of like, maybe you should stop drinking, I was like, pssh, I can't do that. I can't do that. Oh, maybe you should take a year off Instagram. What? I can't do that. I have a business.

Tiffany Han [00:11:19]: We are so quick to say, I can't do that. Oh, my God. So dang quick. It's information. There. It's information. And what feels easiest, what feels hardest. And I want you to notice.

Tiffany Han [00:11:33]: Notice how it feels inside you to be with these whispers. Notice how your body responds. Notice what feels easy, what feels hard, what you're most excited about doing. Or what are those whispers that you try to like? Absolutely not. Push down here and they keep bubbling up. And when you're doing this noticing, I want you to get into your heart. We're noticing with our body instead of just our head because a head thinks that it knows everything. I don't know nothing.

Tiffany Han [00:12:06]: We know that. All of the wisdom, neck down, neck down. So really this too, slowing down, being less busy, getting into your body, trusting it. So good. So good. Number four, practice radical self belief. Part three of this series next week is going to be all about radical self belief. We're going to talk about how to practice it.

Tiffany Han [00:12:32]: What I want you to know today is that radical self belief is a practice, not a destination. It is a lifelong practice. And what a gift that that is what we get to practice in our lives. Trusting ourselves, trusting that we are people who figure things out no matter what. And here's the thing about the word practice. I chose that word really deliberately because whether you're a tap dancer or you play tennis, or you lift weights or you bake or you ski or you ride bikes or you play an instrument, practice is what makes you good at something. Practice is what leads to mastery. And practice is also what helps you maintain that mastery.

Tiffany Han [00:13:21]: Practice builds muscle memory. And sometimes that practice is going to feel great, and sometimes it's going to feel terrible. And you keep showing up anyway because you are committed to the practice, because you know that there is power in that practice, even if that individual practice session does not go well. This is what I want for you in your life. This is what I want for all of us in our life, that we are able to trust ourselves even when we don't know the answers, even when nothing makes sense, even when there is no clear path. And again, I'm not talking about trusting this anxiety brain. Oh, my God, the over committer, overthinker brain. I'm talking about trusting here.

Tiffany Han [00:14:07]: Talking about trusting down deep in your core, that part of you that is connected to something divine, something made of stardust. Your spirit, trusting that, that you are able to practice. Trusting that you are a person who figures things out. And that radical self belief does not mean that you are always right or that you are a walking textbook. But instead it means you trust that you will have what you need in that moment to take the next step. We don't have to have all the answers figured out before we start going. So we're four steps in. We could stop here.

Tiffany Han [00:14:49]: I'm not spoiler, I'm not going to, but we could. And you might be up here with a couple of your yeses. You might be here with a couple of your yeses. That's okay because these things are going to be weaving in and out. Here's what I want you to remember as you are on your own journey is that throughout each of these steps, you're going to get new information that helps clarify and gives you new perspectives on what you want, on where you might be headed. You might be starting really wide. I don't know. I just want things to be different.

Tiffany Han [00:15:21]: And then along the path you get really narrow and you get really clear. Great. Or you might right now be starting and thinking, I want this one thing. And then you start playing and listening and trusting and noticing and practicing and then you're like, oh, my gosh, it's completely open. I don't even know what I want anymore. Great. Great. Right? Ugh.

Tiffany Han [00:15:46]: Mmm. There are no wrong answers here. There are no wrong answers. And again, that's what I mean by that. Radical self belief by trusting that when I get here, like, if I'm all the way over here, I don't need to know what I'm going to do here. I just need to know that when I get here, I'm going to understand what step to take next. Those steps give you the information. So please know that you don't have to have everything mapped out before you take step one and get a little bit less busy and create that quiet.

Tiffany Han [00:16:18]: Please know that. Step five. Don't judge what your bold moves look like. Sometimes your bold moves are going to be quick. They're going to be big. They are going to happen in a heartbeat and be impulsive. Oh, my God, here I go. Ah.

Tiffany Han [00:16:31]: And sometimes our bold moves are made of 100 or 1000 or 10,000 teeny tiny. Not impressive at all. Baby steps. Let your bold moves look like what they need to look like. And if you're taking baby steps and craving that big thing, ask for a sign. Ask for a sign that you're on the right path. Ask for a whisper to let you know and keep track of your progress. Remember what one year ago you wanted.

Tiffany Han [00:17:03]: And let that person look at this version of you today and be like, whoa. And know that those baby steps add up. If, on the other hand, you have made so many big, bold moves lately and you just want some relief, you just want some little, teeny, tiny baby steps, great. Let yourself want that. Let yourself every single day, ask the question, what can I do today to move me closer to a version of my life where what I'm doing on the outside matches who I am on the inside? What can I do today to move me closer to a life that feels like home? There will be a part of you up here in this anxiety brain that says, it's not enough. Guess what? Not only is it enough, it's bold and brilliant. And I promise you, but if you do that every single, like, here's a big secret, do that every single day. Become present to what you want.

Tiffany Han [00:17:58]: Take those steps every day, the baby steps, you're going to get the life you want. It might take time. It will take time. Might take a year or two. It might take three years. It might take a month. Part of what I know for me is that I'm not actually after the end result of my life. I'm after the way that it feels and that the way that I feel when I wake up can be radically different.

Tiffany Han [00:18:23]: And the circumstances may not have changed at all, which is pretty dang magical. When I say to trust your bold moves, trust them. Even though they don't look like mine, or they don't look like that person on the Internet or that person on social media. I don't want them to. You might hear something from me that sparks something for you, great. But I do not need our bold moves to be identical. And I am not here to say this is the step for this is a path for you. Because I don't know what the path for you is, but I do trust that you know.

Tiffany Han [00:19:03]: Step number six, multi part. Step number six. Keep coming back to yourself as many times as it takes. As many times as it takes. And it might take a hundred. Might take a hundred times in a day. You might be pulled away from yourself ten times the next hour. Okay? Keep coming back.

Tiffany Han [00:19:25]: This is how we measure progress, is we think about not how many times do you get pulled away from yourself? Because, listen, the world that we live in is noisy, and all it wants to do is pull our attention away from ourselves. Instead, what we want to watch and notice and track is how long does it take you to come back? And our goal here is shrinking down that recovery time. Maybe it's taken you years in the past to return. Maybe now it's taking months. Maybe you listen to this every week, and then every Tuesday you're reminded to come back to yourself, great. Great. All of that is beautiful. All of that is progress and all of that counts.

Tiffany Han [00:20:08]: All of that is a practice. Do you see? Do you see how that works? And that's what we're after. The other thing, as you're practicing number six and all of these is to notice when you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Remember in the episode about your, yes. Foundations, there's nothing that is going to stop you in your tracks faster than being hungry, angry, lonely or tired. So if that comes up right, that's. That's six part B. Just paying attention to when that comes up and when that jumps into your capacity and when it starts to take you off course.

Tiffany Han [00:20:55]: And listen, y'all, this is life. And we want life to be easy and clean and find the answer. And, you know, yeah, I want to give you the answer, too. But what we're really doing is we're looking for what is going to help me keep going. And what I want for you to say is, how can I step into that? Raise your hand, say yes, lifestyle, make this about my whole life where I live in a way that I raise my hand and say yes. And I have that radical self belief and I practice being the person I want to be in the world every single day. It's magical. But it's not about getting to this destination and then arriving.

Tiffany Han [00:21:33]: We get to do this all the time. Because what I want here, once I get to here, then I'm going to want other things. And like, what a beautiful gift. If you have questions, if you have aha moments, if you are like, oh my gosh, please do an episode about this. Let me know in the comments. If you're listening on the podcast, you can send me a DM on Instagram. Please don't be shy about letting me know what's showing up for you, what's lighting you up, and what you would like to hear more of. I also wanted to let you know that I have a special freebie offer twice a month over in my gentle productivity club.

Tiffany Han [00:22:04]: We do what I like to call a don't wanna do session. And this is where for an hour, we all gather on Zoom and bring the stuff that we don't wanna do. It might be taxes, it could be bookkeeping. It could be calling and making doctor appointments. Y'all know the things that you don't wanna do. I am certain that you have a list that has moved from to do list to to do list from week to week or month to month and you are ready to get it done. And I want to join. I want to invite you to join one of our don't want to do sessions for free to try it out because I know that there are things that are standing in the way of you making that space and being able to say yes.

Tiffany Han [00:22:42]: And I want to help clear that out of your head. Make way for those whispers. So if you want to join us for one, you can grab the link to the next upcoming one in the show notes. We would love to have you here. Thank you for listening. You're amazing. I'll talk to you soon. Wow.

Tiffany Han [00:22:59]: All the love.